European, Dogma

European - "Get out of here, dog. I don't know if you know it or not but European on my best flower bed!"
Dogma - "That dogma wife got at the pound is dumb as a rock."

Seizure, Cattle, Mere, Penny

Seizure - "Man, your wife is gonna crap when she seizure new tattoo. She thinks you went out to buy her some chewing tobacco."

Cattle - "I don't think you ought to rent your trailer to Cathy...her cattle pee all over the place!"

Mere - "You better come mere and bring me a beer if you want that yard mowed!"

Penny - "Junior is gonna sell that penny built for his chickens cause the trailer park won't let him keep 'em."

Abet, Nowhere, Decrease, Abroad, Douche, Coaster

Abet - "You can probably call 1-800-gambler if you want to place abet, but I ain't sure."

Nowhere - "Dang, sugarbuns, you don't happen to nowhere I left my tractor keys, do you?"

Decrease - "My wife's uppety brother takes his blue jeans to the dry cleaners, but I don't know how in the world he got used to decrease."

Abroad, Douche - "So, your husband's working down at the factory next to abroad, eh? Maybe he can go over and lay around HER trailer and not douche it!"

Coaster - "If I could get my old lady strapped in her seatbelts, I would push her Lincoln Continental and coaster right on down to the river!"

Virgin, Sailor, Ingrown, Lettuce

Virgin - "Young lady, you are right on the virgin this English class of pissing your teacher off."

Sailor - "If you want to start selling pot-bellied pigs, you need to put one in your yard with a sign that says for sailor something."

Ingrown - "Junior done gone ingrown up. He ought to be passing first grade any time now."

Lettuce - "We asked the bodyguard if we could go backstage to meet Jeff Foxworthy, but they wouldn't lettuce."

Abandon - "Leon is anxious for his next weddin'. He's already got abandon rented the VFW hall and told everyone in town to come."

Abstain - "If you spill Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine on your stomach, could you call that an abstain?"

Budget, Gopher, Rednecking, Speaker

Budget - "Carol Ann tried to get her pot-bellied pig off the couch, but she couldn't budget."
Gopher - "Hey, Hank, if you gopher the beer tonight, I will gopher it tomorrow night."
Rednecking - "I rednecking in the back seat of a car causes a girl to get knocked up."
Speaker - "My sister don't care where she chooses to speaker mind, but she ought to watch her language in church!"
Photo Credit (top): njchow82 on Flickr
Photo Credit (bottom): Jenny Lewelling on Flickr

Rednecks Are Very Well-Traveled

Well, at least their vocabulary is:

Seattle - "Junior, always use a condom...Seattle keep you from gettin' one of those STD things."

Arkansas - "When Noah looked around the Arkansas all those animals, he said 'Man, this place is like a zoo.'"

Idaho - "That girl is just a pole dancer, Idaho!"

Russia - "Ma'am, I don't mean to Russia, but I've been standing in line for this six-pack of Schlitz for 10 minutes!"

Egypt - "I thought Billy Bob was a good ole' boy till Egypt me out of a case of beer."

Kinetic, Showcase, Educator, Massachusetts

Kinetic - "I wonder, kinetic bite cause you to upchuck?"
Showcase - "If you're gonna sell your grandma's trumpet on eBay, you're gonna have to take pictures that showcase and all."
Educator - "We ain't sending Cindy Lou to public school on account of we can educator just as good."
Massachusetts - "Dorothy Ann won't let Leon chew tobacco around her so he goes to the store and gets a Massachusetts out behind the outdoor toilet and spits till he's tired."